I feel like I can breathe again...

It feels like I've been holding my breath since that fateful day in August when the physician sent me the email to let me know that we may finally have found the cause of my exercise intolerance.  

On Wednesday (11 October 2023), I went to go see the cardiothoracic surgeon that someone on one of my Facebook groups recommended.  The surgeon performed the corrective surgery on his son last year, and she is one of the few surgeons in my area that does this surgery on adults.  My initial consultation appointment was already rescheduled from the previous Wednesday due to the school holidays, so deep inside I wasn't expecting any form of progress after the consultation.  I was expecting her to ask for more tests, more waiting, more trying something else first.  I went to my appointment armed with printed copies of all my reports and scans, I even took along a USB drive with the colour images of my xrays and CT scans as I couldn't print those on my little inkjet printer.  She listened to a (very) shortened version of my story, and actually burst out laughing when I told her about the asthma diagnosis (I even took the inhaler along).  She was not even interested in the report from the sports physician, and only asked to see the CT scans.  She showed me where my sternum was pressing against my heart.  I looked at the scans again once home, and it seems so clear now that she pointed it out.

Then came the fun part...  I had to take my top off.  After years and years of hiding my deformity so well, I now had nowhere to hide.  So there I sat in all my bare-chested glory for what felt like forever, and I'm sure my chest was as red as my face as I was blushing like crazy.  The pressed and squeezed in a few places, nodded her head and said "Yep, that is severe".  After I was fully dressed, and able to look her in the eyes again, she started to explain my surgery options.  Thanks to all the research I've already done, this was not too overwhelming, and I was able to understand and follow along.  She reiterated a few times that this is a very painful surgery - she actually said it's one of the most painful surgeries that she performs.  At this point I asked her about the possibility of getting Intercostal Cryoablation - she seemed surprised by the question, but also happy that I asked about it.  So the good news is that she does actually do it, but the bad news is that they rarely even mention it to patients as it is quite expensive, and our medical aids here in South Africa does not cover it.  I've opted for the Nuss procedure, and I will be getting 2 bars as my depression is quite deep and long.  Two bars would also help reduce the pressure on my ribs, and give a more even result.  At this point, the doctor agreed that due to my age (42), getting cryo would be a great option for me (if I can fund it) as it would reduce my hospital stay and recovery time.  I could even be back to normal hiking within a few months! 

I walked out of the doctor's office in a mild state of disbelief - BUT with a confirmed date for surgery, and a plan forward.  It's finally happening!

When I got to my car in the parking area, I had to take a few moments to compose myself.  I will admit a few tears were shed.  It felt as if all the frustration and disappointments of the last 7 years just came flooding out.  I finally had a date, but December still felt so far away.  Then my logical brain kicked in and I realised it's only 6 weeks away.  Six weeks before I start the rest of my life.  My new life.

 

I finally let go of the breath I've been holding.  I can breathe again...